Deciding to start a family

How do you know that you’re ready to start a family?

Shane and I had been together for nearly eight years before we said ‘I do’. We’d saved our pennies and managed to buy our first home. We’d been on mini breaks and holidays. Had date nights and duvet days, we’ve shared some amazing memories together and I’m grateful that it was just the two of us for so long because we were able to spend time as a proper couple instead of rushing our lives away.

I think when you’re newlyweds everyone is expecting that pregnancy announcement to happen as soon as you get back from your honeymoon. But you weren’t going to get one from us, we got married in the May and wanted to wait until the end of the year before we started ‘trying’ – which I’d like to point out is a phrase I absolutely hate!

We’d discussed starting a family for a long time, it’s one of those conversations that every long-term couple has at some point; would you want a boy or a girl first, how many children would you like, ideal age gap – those sorts of things. The one thing we agreed on straight away though was we were going to wait until after we got married, we were also buying our first home mid-wedding-planning – chuck a pregnancy into the mix and I think we would have both gone cray cray!

So anyway, the wedding came and went, and enjoyed a few months of chilling – we went to dinner when we wanted to, we went shopping whenever we felt like it and made plans to go to New York in December – it was so nice to take a breather and not have worry about seating plans and menus!

We always agreed that we wouldn’t put too much pressure on ourselves when it came to starting a family. It would happen if/when fate said so. We decided to ‘stop being careful’ when we were out in New York, thinking that it usually takes months and months to conceive.

Well, it turns out we came home with a lot more than a couple of New York Knicks jersey’s. I had fallen pregnant straight away! I was completely shocked that it had all happened so quickly, I was staring at that positive pregnancy test on 23rd December and managed to keep it a secret from Shane until Christmas morning – when I woke him up at 6am (he didn’t get home until 2am so wasn’t best pleased when I forced him out of bed), with a box containing two positive pregnancy tests and a first time dad book (thank god for Amazon next day delivery!).

We told our immediate family straight away, God forbid if anything bad was to happen before the ‘safety’ of the 12 week scan, they’d be the ones that would be there for us, so telling them right away was only natural. It’s so funny thinking back to their reactions, especially as nobody knew that we had decided to start ‘trying’ – from my mum screaming the house down, to Shane’s older sister shouting as if Manchester United had just won the Premier League, all memories that make me smile whenever I think of them.

So that was it, the next chapter of our lives was being written! Yes it happened a lot quicker than we were expecting, but it just meant that we were able to meet Jack sooner – and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Posted in: Mum

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